Of comfort and smiles
by loonie lupin
Summary: Sequel to ‘Of tears and hope’. Waking up next to JJ, Hotch remembers the night before. Hotch/JJ


**Title**: Of comfort and smiles  
**Author: **Loonie_lupin  
**Fandom:** Criminal Minds  
**Characters/Pairing:** Hotch/JJ  
**Spoiler**: Up to In Birth and Death  
**Rating: **FRT  
**Summary:** Sequel to 'Of tears and hope'. Waking up next to JJ, Hotch remembers the night before  
**Disclaimer:** The characters and settings are not mine but the property of their creators.

**Note:** Alright, so people seemed to like the format of my last story. Seeing it's the sequel, I thought I could try it once again. Next time, though, I will probably go back to something a bit more traditional.

**Of comfort and smiles**

You gradually wake up from your slumber when you feel the soft heat of the morning sunrays licking your face and the daylight sipping through your closed eyelids. You sense a warm body pressed against yours and, careful not to wake the person sharing your bed, you turn slightly, inhaling the perfume of her hair. The light vanilla scent that enters your nostrils almost makes you startle because, in that instant, you realize that it's not Haley who is lying next to you. Haley's shampoo is coconut perfumed.

You remember suddenly the events yesterday evening and, knowing what you will see, you open your eyes to see JJ's peaceful face, surrounded by golden hair, lost in sleep. She looks so young to you, so innocent, even though you know she has seen far too much already, and even if you still feel the pain of Haley's departure in your heart, you smile softly.

_Hotch opened the door and nearly gasped out loud at his unexpected visitor._

"_JJ?" he asked, disbelief coloring his tone._

"_Hey, Hotch," she said as calmly as she could manage before tilting her head to the side. "Can I come in?"_

_He shook rapidly his head, as if trying to get himself back together after his shock, before stepping back and motioning for her to enter._

"_Sure, come in," he said in an even voice, unwilling to let her see his inner turmoil, even though he was almost certain she had already guessed that something was wrong._

_His appearance must have been frightful so someone who was used to always see him well-dressed, in control, perfectly groomed._

"_Do you want something to drink?" he asked as soon as they were in the living room, wanting to get away from her just for a little while to make sure all his barriers were back in place before interacting with JJ. "Coffee? Water? Something stronger?"_

_He was already preparing to make his way to the kitchen when he felt her hand on his arm. He turned to look at her and she shook her head, answering negatively to his question. She was thinking about what to say to him, staying silent as she hesitated about the best road to take, but her eyes told him everything he needed to know. _

"_You know," he stated._

You don't know how long you spend looking at her without moving an inch but you know you could do it for hours. She's so beautiful even like this – maybe especially like this, you think. It's hardly the first time you see her asleep, none of you are stranger to taking a nap during a plane right, coming back from wherever you were for your last case. It's not the same though. You have never thought you would once have a real chance to see her dead to the world in your bed, at your side and, somehow, in that instant, caressing her face with your fingertips seems like the most natural thing to do.

"_Haley called me," she answered promptly, knowing better than lying, her mere presence enough of a proof anyway. "She didn't want you to be alone."_

"_She left," he said blankly and she nearly flinched at the lack of emotions, finding it worse than an apparent suffering._

_He couldn't believe what JJ was telling him. If Haley hadn't wanted him to be alone, then why hadn't she stayed? He came back to reality when he felt JJ's hand slide slowly down his arm and end up circling loosely his wrist._

"_Sit with me," she said softly, not talking about Haley anymore because it wasn't her place to do so._

_She walked back to the couch and he followed, letting her guide him by the hand. She was making it easy for him to let her do as she pleased with his body. He didn't trust himself to take any decision anyway, certain that if he did, it would be the wrong one. At least, he could trust JJ to do the right thing by him, to help him to the right thing. _

_Soon, they were sitting on the couch._

Her skin is so soft, you notice in wonder, and you're careful that your touch doesn't wake her up. You're not sure how she would take being the object of your attention. She has come to you out of concern, in an attempt to bring you some comfort, not to subject herself to your disreputable desire.

However you have dreamed about if for so long, longer than you're willing to admit, even to yourself, that stopping yourself from exploring her feature is too hard and you keep going, praying that she wouldn't come out of her slumber, not yet.

"_I knew it was the end," he said after a while._

_He had not looked up but, during the whole time he had been silent, he had felt JJ's compassionate eyes on him and it had given his some of his strength back, even though he still felt emotionally drained. She was the right person to be there with him. She was letting him go at his pace, not forcing him to talk if he didn't want to, but telling him implicitly she would listen if he chose to. Offering physical comfort, by the mere feeling of her hand on his wrist, without it being as overwhelming as a hug would have been. No, she was doing everything he needed at the moment._

"_It shouldn't have hit me that hard," he added. _

"_Why?" she asked, not awaiting any answer. "You're human. Knowing intellectually something is going to happen is not the same as living through it. Soldiers know what awaits them when they go to Iraq, shouldn't they be hit by the reality of it once they are there?"_

_It would never have even come to his mind to compare the two situations because, really, finding yourself in a war zone is a whole other level of hell than the end of his marriage. But he understood what she was trying to say and it actually helped._

"_She was having an affair," he said and, truth to be told, he was saying more than he should, more than necessary, but it felt oddly cathartic and he had already begun to confide in JJ, why not do it entirely? "I knew she was but…"_

_He shook his head. He still didn't understand why he hadn't confronted her about, hadn't made her admit it. Maybe because he didn't want the confirmation or maybe because he didn't want her to tell him she knew he was wishing to do the same._

_JJ let her hand travel from his wrist to his own, took it into hers before giving it a squeeze and he couldn't help it. The gesture was so innocent, he had to smile. For the first time since he had come back, he felt that, somehow, it wasn't the end of the world._

Almost of their own volition, your fingers move from her cheek to her lips and you trace delicately the contour of her mouth. You know you should stop. You know it's not appropriate but, then, neither was allowing yourself to sleep in the same bed as her. And you're tired of following the rules, tired of being the one who never stray because, in the end, where did that got you?

_She saw the little flicker of her lips and she smiled brightly, if a little sadly, at it. Mission accomplished, she thought to herself. She knew he was far from alright, she wasn't all that naïve, but making him smile was a good start and he did seem a little less in the pit of despair than when she showed up at his doorstep. However, her smile soon dissolved when the event of her tiredness caught up to her and she yawned, silently, but not nearly discreetly enough for him not to see._

"_God, JJ, it's late. You must be beat," he exclaimed, feeling guilty that her worry about him would keep her up when what she needed the most was a good night of sleep._

_She waved his concern with one hand._

"_I'm fine," she affirmed but the effect was a bit broken with her next yawn. "Alright, so I may be a bit tired," she admitted unwillingly. _

"_You're sleeping in the guest room. There is no way I'm letting you drive back in the state you're in," he said when he saw her on the verge of interrupting._

_His tone had totally changed. Now that he was the one who had to take care of her, and not the contrary, he was feeling more at ease. Especially since his concern for her was enough to make him stop thinking about his failed marriage, for at least a little while._

_Not bothering to argue with Hotch, JJ followed him up to the guest room and, as he was about to leave her alone, she stopped him._

"_Are you going to be able to sleep?" she asked, worried, because she wasn't the only one who needed to sleep there. _

"_Sure," he said, dismissing her concern and she growled, actually growled._

_She must have been more tired than she was to make a sound like this._

"_The truth," she demanded and she would freak out about talking to her boss like that tomorrow morning, when she wasn't so tired anymore._

_He glared at her but, after seeing that it had absolutely no effect, deflated._

"_I don't know," he admitted and she instantly knew what was making him doubt._

Eventually not able to help yourself anymore, you lean on her and, gently, without taking your hand off her silky skin, you brush your lips against her in a butterfly kiss. It has to be the most tender contact you ever made with anyone but the caress is still enough to force her out of her peaceful slumber and you have to lean back as her eyes begin to flutter, before she actually come back to reality.

_She took his arm and dragged him inside the guest room because, let's face it, there wasn't a chance she would invite herself in the master bedroom. Thankfully, though, the bed was big enough for the two of them so there was no problem._

"_JJ, I'm not going to sleep with you," he argued, purposely ignoring what his sentence actually sounded like._

"_Please, Hotch," she said in a pleading tone, changing strategy. "That case was… I don't want to sleep alone."_

_Both of them knew it wasn't the truth. The last case was bad, all of their cases were, but not exceedingly so. They both knew it was nothing that JJ would totally lose sleep over, unlike a few they had had in the past. But that way, they could pretend that Hotch did it for JJ and not the contrary, which was more acceptable for Hotch. He had to be strong for her, not the other way around._

_They didn't take long to prepare themselves. Hotch was already dressed in his sleeping attire and he just got a shirt for JJ so she wouldn't have to put on the same one again after her shower the next morning. Still, she had to keep her sweatpants._

_They slid under the cover, both of them careful enough not to stay too close, not to touch each other. JJ wanted nothing more than cuddle against her boss but she knew it wasn't the right time for that kind of contact, not yet. He would initiate things if he wanted to but she wouldn't do anything on her own so close to the moment his wife left him._

_Hotch laid on his back for a while, unmoving, until he heard her breath even out and noticed she had fallen asleep. Only then did he roll on his side to envelop her body with his own, cautiously, not waking her up, to be able to feel her warmth. Then he closed his eyes and a few seconds later, he was in Morpheus' arms. _

You watch her slowly open her eyes and, when she is greeted by your intense glaze, still sensing your hand of her face, she gives you the most tender smile ever.

"Good morning," she greets you, whispering softly, as if talking louder would have broken the charm.

"Hey," you answer back and it's all you need to say.


End file.
